I’ve been getting ready for this post for a while. (You may have noticed I haven’t written in a few days. You’ll see why.)

Grab some tissues for this one.

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A couple of years ago, I was having a conversation with a friend. While we were talking she said, “Oh, you have to meet Ginger. She has a great story.”

I learned Ginger had twin girls my daughter’s age. She also had three older kids. Our kids had been in the same school for years and our three had never been in the same class. Hmm, I thought. I should meet this Ginger.

I didn’t realize until later, but Ginger had actually contacted me while we were going through everything with Ian. After he had his fingers amputated, I changed all of our dishes to melamine ones (plastic.) I was determined to have Ian help me in the kitchen again, and I figured it would be nicer for them to be lighter and not breakable. Anyway, Ginger sent me a sweet email offering to give me some new melamine dishes she had just bought. She was kind in her email, telling me her family was praying for Ian.  I replied to her email and thanked her, but said I’d found some already. That was the end of it.

For the next year, I continued to hear about this Ginger. We just kept missing each other. I knew OF her, and I think she knew OF me. We both wanted to meet each other. Then it happened. We were both registered to attend a writing conference in the summer of 2014. Would you believe we lived in San Antonio, but ended up meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina?

She was as sweet as everyone said she was. She was warm and kind. She said she was a speaker and she was writing a book with her husband. Then she shared her story with me. I was blown away.

Troy and Ginger were happily married with five kids. Troy was in the Air Force, and in Sept 2006, was deployed to Iraq. He said goodbye to his wife and kids that morning, not knowing it would be the last time. Sadly, Troy was killed in a plane crash.

Ginger lost her husband. Their five kids lost their daddy. Americans lost a brave young hero.

As I write this, I try to put myself in Ginger’s shoes. My husband is gone. I have five kids to take care of on my own. My kids won’t have their daddy. My twins are not even a year old! What am I going to do? How am I going to survive this? 

There are just no words.

Meanwhile, another beautiful story had unfolded. Let me just say, I didn’t know any of the following people.

Jim and Andrea were married. They had two sons. They, too, were an Air Force family. Andrea was a brave young woman fighting cancer. Darn that dreaded nightmare that is cancer. I hate cancer.

Sadly, Andrea lost her battle with cancer. Her loving husband, Jim, was left to raise their kids without their beautiful mother.

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This is where my own writing stops. I don’t have the words to adequately tell this story. I tried, but I fall short. Ian just got back from a run and found me sobbing in front of my computer at my kitchen table.

Instead, I will share their words. This is written by Jim, from their blog. Again, I urge you to get tissues.

This blog began as as an account of Andrea’s and my journey though breast cancer and her eventual death. My intention was to chronicle our experiences from sickness to physical healing but God revealed His plan was beyond the mere physical. I have continued to experience healing in my life and now God has opened a door to a new chapter in my life. This journey has not ended but has transformed into a new normal and the hope of a new beginning

My monthly updates, which grew into this blog, reached an Air Force pilot’s wife in Jan 2007 who had lost her husband two months prior. Her name is Ginger and her husband’s name was Troy. Through this tragic bond developed a friendship. And now, through marriage, God has merged all of our journies to healing. This blog is a compilation of these four lives; two sadly taken and two left behind. In this common grief God has given Ginger and I a desire to journal our experiences as therapy for our pain and a source of encouragement to others who face life’s most enormous challenges

Andrea was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer in Aug 2003 while we were stationed in Anchorage Alaska. After 6 months of chemo and radiation we moved to Washington DC. In June 2005 we moved again to Seymour Johnson AFB in NC. Two weeks later Andrea was told the pain in her hip was breast cancer that had spread to her bones. Two weeks later we were told the cancer was also in her liver and lungs. July 5th 2005 Andrea began chemo treatment. On Dec 17th 2007 Andrea lost her fight with cancer but won her place in eternity.

Troy was a loving father of 5 children, and like Andrea was a
faithful servant of Christ. Troy was an F-16 pilot who volunteered to serve in Iraq. He deployed in Sept 2006. One day during his tour there he was tasked to provide close air support to a special operations unit who had come under overwhelming enemy fire. In an attempt to limit civilian causalities Troy made two low level passes employing the gun from his F-16. After a successful first pass Troy attempted a second pass to ensure the safety of the American soldiers. It was during this pass that Troy’s F-16 impacted the ground. On Nov 27th 2006, Troy lost the fight in Iraq and that day won his place in eternity.

This blog is about our experiences, what God has taught us and most importantly about God’s faithfulness. It is about dealing with life with cancer and life after cancer. It is about dealing with the sudden tragic loss of a spouse. It is about death and life and the deep grieving and growing process we are going through. It is about our victories and our struggles. But always it is about God’s unfailing love for us.

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This is their beautiful blended family. I love how God has joined these people!

Our girls did eventually end up in the same class. And, wouldn’t you know, they got along beautifully! The three have such gentle, sweet spirits. Only God could know they would need those having gone through what they have in their short lives.

I am blessed to know of Ginger, AND to count her as one of my friends. She is amazing. Jim, well, he is an outstanding man. I pray my boys will grow up to be the caliber of man he is. Jim now runs the organization Folds of Honor. Folds of Honor awards scholarships to children and dependents of military who have been killed or disabled in combat. Ginger is a speaker and shares their story with others in similar situations.

Ginger and Jim are real life heroes. Troy and Andrea are heroes, too. Although they were gone too soon, they will definitely not be forgotten. Jim describes it perfectly on their blog. They are four lives; two sadly taken and two left behind.

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This post is part of a series of 31 Real Life Heroes. If you’d like to nominate your hero, please email dwarshak(at)gmail.com.

Today’s post is a continuation of yesterday’s. The amazing woman I’m writing about today is Jaxon’s mother.

Many people are inspired by Lenzie Davis. I’m glad several asked me write about her, although I would have written about her anyway.  🙂

Lenzie is a dear friend of mine. Knowing her has always been a blessing, but it was our struggles that brought us a deeper friendship in recent years. I believe she is a gift from God to me and to many.

Lenzie is married to Cory. She is the mother of five babies. Two of them are in heaven, she lives with two, and she has one on the way. Cory and Lenzie have a solid marriage. They’ve lived through a lifetime of heartache in a short few years. They love and support each other even on the toughest days.

If you read yesterday’s post, you know that Lenzie’s son, Jaxon, passed away almost three years ago. Although the death of a child is difficult, Lenzie and Cory know that Jaxon is in heaven free from pain and sorrow now. When referring to Jaxon, Lenzie will say:

Some people never meet their hero… I gave birth to mine.

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Courtney nominated Lenzie as her hero. She met Lenzie in January 2012 when they were both in the hospital with loved ones. Lenzie’s son Jaxon and Courtney’s brother both had brain cancer. In the short time they’ve known each other, Courtney has been inspired by her.

When asked why she is her hero, Courtney replied,

Lenzie wakes up ready to continue to share her son’s legacy. She is one hundred percent transparent about the emotions and daily struggles that come with the death of a child. She shares the victories and defeats with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a mom. Her faith in God remains her strength. For Lenzie being a mom isn’t just about feeding and clothing children, it is about teaching them to be amazing people who are the hands and feet of Jesus in the world. In five short years she impressed that upon a child who was a servant of God until his dying day, and who continues to unite those who loved him to continue his work.

Lenzie continues her son’s legacy through Jaxon’s FROG Foundation. She spends time giving back to children who have cancer and their families. Knowing first hand what that is like, she is sensitive to their needs and understanding to each situation. Cory and their two children are all involved, too. The FROG Foundation is a family affair!

Lenzie Davis is a real life hero for many reasons. She is an example of a strong wife and mother, always looking out for her family’s best interest. She is an example of a firm believer in Christ, trusting completely in God’s plan for her life. She loves to serve and give to bless others. She is an example to us all.

I cannot fathom the pain she must feel after losing a child. I’ve heard the saying that parents should never have to bury their children. She did. I’m proud of Lenzie for waking up every morning and getting out of bed. I’m proud of her for keeping the faith and continuing to live life to the fullest. Although she couldn’t control what happened to Jaxon, she can certainly control how she chooses to move forward. She is making Jaxon and the rest of us proud by just being who she is. And, for most of us, she truly is a real life hero. Love to you, dear Lenzie!

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This post is part of a series of 31 Real Life Heroes. If you’d like to nominate your hero, please email dwarshak(at)gmail.com.