Guys. I’m sitting at Local Coffee because it’s a writing day for me. All three kids are tucked away in school. I haven’t been child free for twelve days.

I’ve kinda been dreading today. I haven’t had a lot of time to write lately, and I know I have to face my NaNoWriMo challenge. On my drive here I talked to my friend, Monica.

“Did you meet your goal?” she asked.

“Nope. I failed. But that’s okay. I learned a lot.” And it was true. I realized a couple of weeks ago that I wasn’t writing from my heart. I was more concerned about hitting word counts than writing quality words. A new friend suggested that maybe I’d lost my joy in writing. She was right. So I decided to slow down. I slowed WAY down… So much that I didn’t write for days.

There’s no way I will have 50,000 words, I thought. I haven’t written in days. 

So I just put it off. I DECIDED TO FAIL. I would be okay with that.

You see, writing this memoir is like PICKING AT A SCAB. There is pain underneath that I hadn’t felt in a long time. And writing about it was like having it resurface and hurt all over again. So slowing down was good. I didn’t realize how much it STILL hurt.

So, back to today. I’m sitting in front of Ian and my computer at our favorite coffee shop. I started opening all the various files and documents with my words… just to see how short of the 50,000 goal I’d come. I had chapters scattered everywhere.. Google docs, notepads, and most recently, I started using a free trial version of Scrivener (my favorite by the way.)

SO, I started adding up words. YOU’LL. NEVER. GUESS. HOW. MANY. WORDS. I. WROTE.

60,923. Yes, 60,923. I WAS SUPPOSED TO FAIL. God had other plans! He still surprises me! I can cry just thinking about it.

Friends, I just can’t explain it! GOD IS AWESOME to me! I don’t deserve it. I’ll be able to be a NaNo Winner after all. I’m out of words to type.

Happy Tuesday!

Many are the plans in a man’s heart,
but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21