Over the weekend, I had a great conversation with a friend about motherhood. We talked about the stage of life that we are in. It is a selfless time, looking out for our family’s wellbeing more than our own. I admit that I sometimes feel inadequate, feeling like I should be able to do more with my children than I do. I’m filled with guilt over not accomplishing more for our family, and envy toward those other moms who seem to have it together.
Your kid is potty trained? And she’s only two??
How long has he been reading? He can read what level books?? Are you serious?
You plan your family’s meals for one month in advance? I’m lucky if I can get dinner ready two nights in a row!
Oh dear, I could never do some of those things! Some days we barely survive to see the next. Just ask Ian. He comes home to find toys everywhere, laundry waiting to be folded on the floor in the living room, and me wearing yoga pants with my wild hair barely in a ponytail.
I’ve had a couple of days to think about this, and I realize how wrong I am. I shouldn’t be comparing myself to other moms. That will be a never-ending pity party. What I should do, instead, is compare myself to the me of yesterday. Or maybe the me six months or a year ago. I should ask myself if I’ve grown since then, if I’m more loving, patient, and intentional with my family. It’s much easier to compare myself to a younger, less mature me. I think I will be pleasantly surprised by what I learn.
Although being more “together” would help our household flow more smoothly, I want to remind myself of what matters most. What are my kids going to remember in ten years? Will they remember that I did their laundry or cooked dinner every night? I don’t think so. I think they’ll remember laying in Mommy and Daddy’s bed reading about animals each night, begging for just one more… Or running around in the sprinklers in the backyard… Or maybe the days when Mommy let them help in the kitchen, even if it was just making Jell-o.
I should be more concerned about those things. No more comparing myself to SuperMoms anymore. 🙂