Last week I posted a question on Facebook. My son will be 5 this month and I don’t want to have his birthday party at our house. The idea of many 5 year old boys and girls at my house and having to entertain them stresses me out. So, I asked him where he would like to have his party. “If we can’t have it at home, then I want it at Peter Piper Pizza.”  Hmm.

There is nothing wrong with PPP, its just that it is the same place where he had his 3rd birthday party two years ago. I can clearly remember Ian telling me that he didn’t feel well while we were there. Although I know that he did not contract whatever got him sick there, I have some weird negative feelings about that place. My sweet friends started to offer suggestions.

“Try another pizza place,” said one.

“What about a jumping place?” said another.

My friends were protecting me from facing that fear. Oh, how I love them all.

This weekend I decided that Emma should try to sell her Girl Scout cookies to our neighbors. The orders are due the 18th, so she doesn’t have much time left. As we were getting ready to go, Emma looked at me, terrified, and looked like she was about to cry.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I can’t, Mommy. I don’t think I can do this,” she said.

“Is it because you are too shy?” I asked.

“Mm-hmmm. I wish I wasn’t shy, but I am.” My heart broke for her. I believed her. This was going to be WAY out of her comfort zone.

“All you have to say is: ‘Hi my name is Emma and I am selling Girl Scout cookies. Would you like to buy some?’ We are only going to the neighbors that we know. They love you. They will buy cookies from you for sure.” I tried to encourage her.

It didn’t help. Let’s just say that we canceled our little outing and ended up having a talk at the kitchen table.

“There are things that we are all afraid of. I totally understand that you are afraid of talking to people. I was, too, at your age. But, you know what? The only way that will ever get better is if you face that fear. If you practice talking to people you will get better at it. Before you know it, you won’t be so shy.” She nodded her head. “Let’s be done for today. Do you want to try again tomorrow?” She nodded again.

So, back to Jack’s party. I feel like a hypocrite encouraging Emma to face her fear when I am not doing that myself. It is so silly to feel negative/mad/upset at PPP. It makes no sense whatsoever. Still, it is something that I didn’t want to do.

I did book Jack’s birthday party at Peter Piper Pizza. Hopefully he and his friends will have a blast. I will be glad to put those negative feelings behind me. I continue to grow a little more each day, and for that, I am thankful.


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