Can I just admit something? Can I say it out loud?? I am tired. I’m so tired of this. I am tired of having to keep it together. I am tired of telling everyone the story of what happened to Ian. I am tired of hearing what amazing people we are. I’m tired of surgeries. I’m just tired…of everything.
I’m laying in my bed with Ian sleeping next to me. He had a hard evening. He was lightheaded, in pain, and nauseated. I despise seeing him so miserable. Enough already! Hasn’t he been through enough? The poor guy almost died, had surgeries to amputate his fingers and legs, and has dealt with pain from his prosthetics, among many other things. He’s been through things that most of us will never experience in our lifetime..and he is still not done. To make matters worse tonight, I have to be mean and force him to eat and take his medicines when I know he doesn’t want to. “If I throw up, it’s going to be your fault,” he said to me. “For making me take these.” Great. Yes, I want you to take this antibiotic and pain pill so that you can throw them back up in a few minutes… Because I really want to clean up your throw up.. And I don’t want to see you get better. That’s it. Yeah, right.
He did take his medicines and hasn’t thrown up yet. So far so good. Let’s pray that he will keep them down.
I feel like I need a good cry. But I’m afraid that if I start I won’t be able to stop. And I’m not sure what that would accomplish. Anything??
Please pray for Ian. Pray that he can rest and wake up feeling better. Pray for his hand to heal quickly with no infection… Lastly, and most importantly, pray that the result of this surgery would exceed any expectation that he had. I feel so much better when Ian is well. I really don’t like seeing him like this.
We are so grateful for his life, for wonderful doctors and their wisdom, and for the support of our friends and family. God continues to take care of us. He teaches me that when I am weak, he is strong through me and for me. Thanks for continuing to pray for us. We are so thankful!!!